“Do you want to vomit or do you want advice? After 40 years on earth, I’m learning that this may be the most important question to ask a friend or loved one when they’re upset.
– Jada Yuan, Washington Post reporter
“wait!’ Reminds me of my colleague Amy Torchia.why am i talking“Ask yourself this,” suggests Amy, a child and youth advocacy specialist for the Vermont Network and creator of the Askable Adult Campaign. “Sometimes adults dominate the conversation because we feel the need to teach all the time. Amy suggests trying a 3:1 ratio, where young people lead the conversation and get three minutes of airtime for every minute an adult speaks. doing.
Deep listening takes practiceAmy gave us some helpful tips. “It takes a great deal of self-awareness and self-control to just listen and stop jumping to solve problems,” she suggested. “If this is your habit, start by noticing it.”
Amy explained that at first you might not realize it until it’s already happened. I started trying to solve your problem when I should have. Over time, you can learn to notice your urges before you act on them. Then you can return to Curiosity, which is where you want to be.“
An adult friend shared that he trained his son to breathe when he said something worrying or upsetting.this is not an emergencySo I can slow down and not react,” she explained. confirm. “If I can do this with sincerity and love, he will feel respected and all will be well.”
Amy’s Pro Tip? make judgments. “For many young people, it’s the number one concern in their relationships with adults.” This doesn’t mean losing standards and boundaries. “Relationships are much stronger when we can empathize, be non-judgmental, and hold boundaries at the same time.” Amy explained.
Find more helpful tips at Vermont Network’s. websiteAlso on Amaze.org Askable Parents Challenge To help have conversations about sexuality with children of all ages, the State of Vermont Parent Up Projects that support conversations about substance use and mental health, and resilience business, Empowering youth through healthy racial communicationPractice your listening to acclaimed music for your next movie night listen musicalis a 2021 live-production film inspired, created and performed by teenagers in Vermont.
don’t give up!
Original artwork by Teppi Zuppo @aioazech TeppiZuppo.com